glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont even know how to be here
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
