I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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