is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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