This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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