So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
