Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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