Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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