Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my sisters under your porch take her home
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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