carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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