As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i used baking grease as lip gloss
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
