Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
