it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
