no you cant smoke seaweed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
