yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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