You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
