whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
