yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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