You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
