dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
