It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
