I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someone shattered a urinal.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just puked most of my soul out..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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