we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
