So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
