He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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