How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
