I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
