i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
third nipple confirmed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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