FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
