my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize