Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
