Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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