you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
