I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
