oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
