you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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