thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i dont even know how to be here
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
