don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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