I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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