Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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