I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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