just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you would pick up someone in the library
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
