I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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