Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
