he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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