I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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