yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish life had little blips of pornography
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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