I bet he comes in French.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize