evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm passing your future prison.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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