omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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