dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
