I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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