none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Sorry about my life...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
