"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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