Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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