At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
