1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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