Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
These tits shall not be calmed
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize