she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize