And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
