Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
